Gone

Walking out of my workplace on Monday brought some news.

I received a text from Number 2, Cameron. The cousin who was the second grandchild born to our Granny.  It said,

Call me ASAP.

My heart dropped. I stopped in my tracks for a brief second. What has happened now?
Who passed away? Not Granny!

My breath caught in my throat just as I tapped his number to call him back.

During the pleasantries, I could hear in his voice something was wrong.

Are you sitting down?

No. Just got to my car. What is going on?

Uncle Wayne passed away.

I felt nothing. Heard nothing. Saw nothing.

Rodney, are you there?

Yes. When did he pass?

They found him Monday because he didn’t show up for work as usual. He would even come in early and when he didn’t, they knew something was wrong. He passed in his sleep.

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As of this writing, I haven’t heard of funeral, memorial, or any plans as he was so far away from most of the family.

I am devastated. Here is a man I looked up to and had deeper conversations about life than with my father. I know he wasn’t perfect, yet, I believe he strove to be a better person each day. Family, relationships, God, society and my place in it as an educated black man. I had longed for more. I still do, however that opportunity has passed. Literally.

What am I going to do? Where do I get sage advice? Am I now being thrust into this cold, dark world with no black man’s guidance?

Yes. Yes, I am. So what now?

The only thing I can do and that is to push on looking, watching, listening, and sharing my journey with my boys and whomever wants to listen.
Foremost for my two little men because, already they know me more than I knew my father.

That cycle, I can break.

I’m going to miss you, Uncle Wayne.

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