I was a growing boy. I ate everything I could because I had a fast metabolism. I remember eating out at a Phoenix restaurant called Tom Tate’s. It was a buffet and I loved it! There was so much food to see and enjoy. I distinctly remember having between seven to ten plates of food. I was ten years old.
I remembered having food in the house throughout my childhood. However, others in my household don’t recall the same situation. You see, I went to boarding school at the age of fourteen. My mom told me later that the grocery bill was cut in half when I left! I didn’t believe her. But just a few weeks ago my sister made a comment that struck me. She makes sure there are enough choices in her pantry so she won’t be limited to a few food items like when we were children.
This hit me hard. Then I heard another person give a similar story about not having enough to eat as a child. That daily experience made a tremendous effect on adult decisions to provide plenty of food for the family.
Children in one household see and experience the same situation differently, therefore the outcomes are different. I have been the positive, whatever goes, and mostly naive child, young person, and adult. I didn’t watch my back, learn how people can be self-serving, manipulative, and made decisions based on how they SHOULD react. Those decisions made me see how life really was. I felt I wasn’t prepared emotionally nor psychologically for real life.
However, as I look back, I see people who were placed in my circle throughout my life, who helped me navigate various times of darkness. As a child, I had close relatives. As a teenager, I had my sister. As a young adult, I had a few friends. Now, as a grown man, I have a host of people I can call on for support. That said, each have their own role in my life.
Dunbar’s number is 150 friends. Dunbar’s layers say that you can 3-5 closest friends. The next layer is about 15 people. I can see that being the case for me. Without my inner 2 layers, I’m not sure where I’d be. Of course, the friends within the layers have changed, but all are needed for that particular part of my journey.
In spite of those changes, I know I can count on my sister. Even though we used to fight as little children, we grew to tolerate each as teenagers and then became a support for each other as adults. She has been a treasure and I thank God for her each day.
I love you, Sis.
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