First reflections-2026

2026 has been interesting so far. Parade with friends, home with family, and asporting event with friends and family. 

When looking back over 2025 and all the twists and turns it brought, I've determined to view life and conduct myself in a way like I haven't before.
Intentional focus on my health, sanity, and environment.
This change has opened my eyes to what I haven't had in a long while.

Peace with myself.

In my personal reflections, I've realized that I have desired female confirmations, affirmation, and companionship. Why? That's what has been guiding me all my life. Present and active Mom, loving sister, and absent positive consistent male influences. 

Now what?
I'm surrounding myself with males who are present, positive, and consistent.

What has this done for me?
Anxiety is down, confidence is up
Focus is tighter on the things I need to do daily, weekly
I'm more present for my boys and their needs
Outlook on the future me is a bit clearer

Feeling good, so let's go!

The Old Me, Kind Of

Where am I?
Sitting in a quiet house alone. Yes, just me.

So much has happened this year and not what I wanted nor thought would happen.
Upside down and inside out, my world was turned.

What now?
Move forward and use what I know now.

Focus on AI and how it can help me be a better me at work and personally.
Provide my boys a father who is present and safe no matter where they are.
Be the person I know I can be
Do the things I have my eyes set on.

I will be okay.
Promise.

BTW, I'm building what I need to get better and do better.

Thanks for riding with me.

2024 into 2025

 As we are gathered around the warmth of the season, we find ourselves reflecting on the incredible year we’ve had. This year has been particularly special for us, as we celebrated our marriage! It was a beautiful day filled with love, laughter and joy.

In addition to our wedding, Maegan and I had the pleasure of visiting some wonderful places and creating cherished memories together. From cozy weekends away to exploring new cities, each trip brought us closer and filled our hearts with joy. We can’t wait to share stories and more photos with you all!

As we look forward to the new year, we are excited about the adventures which await us. We hope to continue building our life together, filled with love, and laughter. 

We wish you all a holiday season filled with warmth, joy, the company of loved ones, and the ability to recognize the countless blessings which will come to you.

Silence

This world is full of so many things.
Noisy
Moving
Gleaming
Sparkling
Fresh
Exciting

As a person, it is not bad to be caught up in it and enjoy it.
As a Christian, my primary thought should be, Is this going to bring me closer to Him or to the World? If it will strengthen my relationship with God, then it will be very good for me. If not, then I have an important decision to make.
Indulge or Reject
If I focus on Him and His plan for me then I will not have the time nor desire to enjoy things outside of Him. Also, I will be able to hear His Spirit moving on me to do those things which honor and glory to Him. I must allow Him to lead.

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Constant Dependance

Friday night and Saturday afternoon I was studying Matthew 14:22:33; Mark 6:45-52; John 6:14-21.

I would tell you the story but I suggest you read it for yourself.

Short summary:
Jesus feed over 5000 people, who then wanted to crown Him king. He dismissed all of them and went to pray on a mountain. His disciples were overtaken by a storm while they were crossing the lake. He goes down to save them. Peter walks on water for a bit. Jesus saves him and gets in the boat.

No spoilers were given, but this is my golden nugget.

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May 4th

So all day it has been…

May the 4th be with you.  (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:May_the_4th_be_with_you_(Star_Wars_Day).svg)

For the uninitiated, it is a silly take using the date, May 4, on a famous saying by the Jedi Order of Star Wars, May the Force Be with You.

As I was washing my hands today, I realized a strange fact…

I love language, the sound of languages, and how people in different parts of the world speak. Even a bit deeper, I like the study of the placement of the tongue when speaking.

My point?

“May the 4th be with you” is a lisp (a speech defect where the “s” sound is pronounced as “th” in thick or  the “z” is pronounced as the “th” in this.)

“May the forth be with you”
“May the force be with you”

So, I’m sticking to the original sound.

(Yes, I went there)

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May 3rd

Entitlement:
the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
the fact of having a right to something.

Power:
legal or official authority, capacity, or right.
ability to act or produce an effect.
possession of control, authority, or influence over others.

Tolerance:
the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

How do these nouns relate to what going on in our world right now?
There are people protesting for the government to open businesses of convenience and luxury. Displaying their guns, signs, and utter disrespect for people who disagree with them and some who represent the medical occupations who work with those affected.

Where does this come from?
Selfishness, even though that is the same sentiment which is tossed back at the other side.
Greed to keep open the businesses that are making money, but may have not planned for an extended closure or the simple fact they want to keep making money to maintain status quo.

What am I getting at?
These values are based in human nature and we have to fight against the ones which only destroy others and ultimately our own self. We must grow the ones which give love, peace, and grace to all including our own self.

 

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May 2

It seems as though the weekend has been a better time to take walks. The weather was perfect and the sun was out.
So, of course I go out and enjoy it after the week of cold rain.

Did you know that NJ was hilly? I have climbed many a hill around my place. My legs know.

Back to my points.
As I’m puffing and dragging myself a hill, I realized another feeling was present but not fully blown.  It was in the pit of my stomach and in my chest. It was much more noticeable when I walked by people.
What was the feeling?
Fear?
Foreboding?
Anxiety?
Uneasiness?

Is there reasons for such unnerving emotions?
Yes, but they are out of my control.

So, what do I do?
1st accept them.
2nd Keep moving forward with what I need to do.
3rd Figure out what I can control and control them.

Simplistic? Yes.
But what else do I have to hold on to?

My faith.

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May Day 2020

So much has happened since the last time I was here.

Quick summary:
Still healthy
Still in NJ
Still working
The world is embraced by a pandemic and people are told to Shelter In Place.

If you had told me 2 years ago this would happen, I don’t think I would have believed you.
If you had told me people would be losing their collective minds, I would have asked what movie are you watching? Contagion, Deep Impact, or another apocalyptic movie?
BTW, those are really popular on streaming services since this has begun.

I believe people are searching for what to do, what to think, what or how to feel.
There are scientists, doctors, pastors, politicians, or individuals of the general who are all claiming to have the “TRUTH”.

I can say with certainty, all have an agenda and no one else knows the whole stories of each person.

What do I offer? Why write this? I’m processing what this is leading to and trying to gather as much information to make the best decisions possible.
What else can I do?

Listen and pray

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#OneWord 2020

I’ve been doing this for a few years, but this year is different.

I thought about many words but none of them seemed worthy until …

I was talking to a really good friend, Keith in AZ and we were catching up on life and reminiscing on what was as colleagues. He mentioned how it was important to him to be free of any guilt and negative emotions. Those who have/had issues with him over the past year he wanted to talk to and reconcile with them.

That set me off thinking and boom!

CLEAR

My #oneword for 2020.

Why “CLEAR”?

It is something I need to be and do more often.
Why should I when I have been hurt by the very things I hold dear dand share with the wrong people or through my Adverse Childhood Experiences?

Yet, I make the decisions where my life goes and how I react to it.
Clear expectations
Clear emotions
Clear values
Clear words
Clear communiques
Clear relationships
Clear progress forward

After taking the time to “BE“, I realized there are so many items in my life that need to be obvious others. Not that I have to give reasons for everything I do or say (That is a HUGE statement from me), but that there should be some logical assumptions one could make if they really care but don’t ask me.

I have a new relationship and it is blowing my mind. Being clear with her has opened my eyes to all the times, I wasn’t nor did I actually want to because of past trauma and emotional hurt. However that is never an excuse for moving forward while looking back.

With that said, I am going to continue to “BE” myself and learning more about what I can do to build better relationships through CLEAR actions.

A bit opaque?
Yep, because I have 363 days to clean the windows through which I see the world.

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Episode 11-Relationships

Of all possessions a friend is the most precious - Herodotus

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Episode 10-Fatherhood

Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys - Unknown

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Episode 9-Time

One Father is more than one hundred schoolmaster - George Herbert

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Episode 8-Struggle

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.
Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground.
They want rain without thunder and lightning.
They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.
This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one;
or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle.”
—Frederick Douglass

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Episode 7-Company

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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Episode 6-#TwitterPoem

I check the tweets from my peeps

From the time I wake to the time I sleep.

I can't wait til I see all the wonderful links

Even though I have to say some do stink.

Not because they are bad or substandard

But because I want to Re-Tweet the Gold standard.

I look, peruse, and amuse at all the good and bad news

I love to find people who share my own personal views.

I follow some of them like a little lamb

But others I mark as awful spam.

But "Why?" you ask, "do I do all this time consuming work

If it were me I were go absolutely berserk!"

I do it because I love technology

And the ways it makes life easier

By the way this is not an apology

Nor trying to make this more cheesier.

The tools I glean from my PLN teams

Are ones I can use outside of my dreams.

To make others come true

I must brew, chew, stew, and construe

Before I make a final debut.

Not of what I can do or what I've gone through

But of what I can give to all those who need.

This is what I want to really imbue,

Positive power, a loud voice, and a strong will to succeed.

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Episode 5-Collaboration

Some experiences of collaborating with eductors around the world. Classroom Global Collaboration - https://youtu.be/sCycaQUSvxA https://ift.tt/2p6eiWz

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Episode 4-Twitter

Why I joined, what I get from it, how to find me.

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Episode 3-Revelations

Reflections on me, people, and jobs.

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Episode-2-Move

TechyTurner - Still Here
Episode 2 - Move
Highlights of my journey since 2013. New jobs, new people, new location.

Gone

Walking out of my workplace on Monday brought some news.

I received a text from Number 2, Cameron. The cousin who was the second grandchild born to our Granny.  It said,

Call me ASAP.

My heart dropped. I stopped in my tracks for a brief second. What has happened now?
Who passed away? Not Granny!

My breath caught in my throat just as I tapped his number to call him back.

During the pleasantries, I could hear in his voice something was wrong.

Are you sitting down?

No. Just got to my car. What is going on?

Uncle Wayne passed away.

I felt nothing. Heard nothing. Saw nothing.

Rodney, are you there?

Yes. When did he pass?

They found him Monday because he didn’t show up for work as usual. He would even come in early and when he didn’t, they knew something was wrong. He passed in his sleep.

---

As of this writing, I haven’t heard of funeral, memorial, or any plans as he was so far away from most of the family.

I am devastated. Here is a man I looked up to and had deeper conversations about life than with my father. I know he wasn’t perfect, yet, I believe he strove to be a better person each day. Family, relationships, God, society and my place in it as an educated black man. I had longed for more. I still do, however that opportunity has passed. Literally.

What am I going to do? Where do I get sage advice? Am I now being thrust into this cold, dark world with no black man’s guidance?

Yes. Yes, I am. So what now?

The only thing I can do and that is to push on looking, watching, listening, and sharing my journey with my boys and whomever wants to listen.
Foremost for my two little men because, already they know me more than I knew my father.

That cycle, I can break.

I’m going to miss you, Uncle Wayne.

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ISTE 2019

I missed ISTE 2018 because I started a brand new job at ClassLink. Even though they send team members to ISTE, I wasn’t ready for any client face time. So, I stayed home and had a bit of FOMO. Soon though, I realized that I really didn’t care enough to follow all the events on social media. It was so much going on that I couldn’t keep up. Even though I had attended the last 5 events and had some idea of what was going on, I didn’t engage.  This year was different. I had plenty of experience under my belt and could participate as a team member.

Since ISTE ended, I’ve been toying with ideas of how to share my time there. I saw Kristen Nan‘s post about being bold and being you. She even has a video she made about it. Check it out.

I was going to make a trailer, but I did that for FETC 2017.

I could do a post about my experiences, but I’ve done that before.

So, I’ll be really simple this time.

I had fun, but not the crazy kind where I did things I regret.
I had the type of fun the comes from being with people I was comfortable around.
I sang, I danced, I shared food, and deep conversations about life.
I enjoyed walks late at night to make sure friends got back to their hotels and to see what downtown Philly has to offer.
I took plenty of pictures to remember the occasion, but I’m realizing that I can’t capture all the memories, sounds, and other physical experiences. I have to live in the moment when it happens.

That is my takeaway from ISTE 2019.

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Ulterior

Have you ever had a person call, text, or contact you in someway to talk and ultimately the conversation turns to them? I can’t count the number of times this has happened to me.

I was talking to Olesya* today about ulterior motives. She was checking in on me as a friend. I didn’t assume benign intent. This was because of my previous thousands of conversations with others who just wanted someone to talk to about themselves.

Olesya and I can be candid with each other and so I asked her the real intent of her contacting me. I was in for a shock.

“Was just concerned about you.”

Really?

“People can care without having an ulterior motive.”

Seriously?! You’re kidding right? I don’t know the last time a friend just checked on me because they cared.

“Have a little faith…”

I was touched deeply enough to say this…

Check on that friend who is on your mind. The reason they are is that they need a kind and encouraging word from YOU. Don’t do it to assuage your guilty conscience. Do it because they need it. Actually, you both do.

*Name changed to protect the awesome

 

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Finally…

The month of June flew by.
I knew it was going to be a busy month about the middle of May.
Funeral for my maternal Grandpa in Wichita. I saw many family members I hadn't seen in at least 15 years over those 2 days
The next week found me on a beautiful beach in South Jersey. The waves and people had me in a state of peace and calm. A large storm passed through and it was wonderful to sit and hear the rain and wind.
The day, I made an 8-day trip to Arizona to see my boys whom I hadn't seen in 5 months. More about that later.
On the heels of that trip, I went to ISTE (International Society of Technology in Education) conference in Philadelphia. I was there for 4 glorious days.
Then I had my mom and sister come for a visit because my sister's work brought her to NYC. They were with me for 4 days.
Now I'm home and falling back in to familiar routines. Ones I don't like. How can this be? I haven't had so much love from so many people and places fill my heart. And yet, it's as though those days hadn't happened.
I'm going to say it...
I'm LONELY.
In this sense of the word: Solitary, unaccompanied, lone.
So, what now?
I'm no longer going to embrace the sad part of the word. I'm going to begin looking at the connections I have made over my life. I have people across the world who are willing to talk me. I have no need to wallow in self pity because I'm in a new place. The time is now and it begins with me.

#my53s

looking back

Why do you look back?
Why do you listen to older music?
Ponder over things that happened in the past?
Keep up with Elementary, HS, and college friends?

There has to be something to the reminiscing. For me, love listening to KLOVE Classics on iHeartRadio at home. It plays Christian music from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. Yep, almost 40 years old, but why do I listen?

It reminds of life events that occurred when that song was popular. You’ve done it before, I’m sure. You hear and song and you are transported back to that time. A little boy in Wichita, Kansas listening to KSGL. An adult living in Phoenix sharing current favorite songs with friends.

When did it stop? I’m not sure. I can tell you that I don’t remember much music between 2003 and 2013. Maybe a song here and there.

Let’s get back to the question.
Why do I look back?

It reminds me of simpler times. Parents taking care of my financial, housing, food needs. Me with very little debt and making enough for all that I need. Spending time with friends and family with few distractions.

What has changed?
***Everything***

Not going to elaborate because you can figure it out.
So what now?

My mom said…

Your vision is delayed but not destroyed. The devil will try to send you into depression and if that doesn’t work, he’ll try to derail you altogether. Don’t feel sick or discouraged just reevaluate and keep moving. Lift your head. It ain’t over over yet! Delay is discouraging bu necessary in some cases. With God all things are possible.

Well, I guess I’ll dust myself off, figure out the next steps and know I’ll be okay and supported when I need it.

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Quiet

I’ve been quiet lately.

Why?

Because I want to turn a corner and I’m not sure how you all are going to take it.
I’ve had exactly 2 people ask about this blog and wonder why I stopped.
Me being transparent, told them just what I said above.

They encouraged me to go and not look backwards, to the sides, or even listen to those who disagree with me and my positions as shared here.

I know I will gather the naysayers, the closed minded, and trolls. I’ve never been one to invite them with my own words, so I’m not today.

If you don’t agree with me, ask me thoughtful questions, try to understand where I’m coming from. Put yourself in my shoes and try to see life as I see it.

As difficult as that may be, it is the only way to understand someone else’s pain, joy and all the emotions in between.

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March 4, 2019

Here’s a thought…

I was watching a program called World’s Busiest Cities on Netflix as I completed some housework.

The hostess, Anita Rani, was doing Seva at the langar at Gurudwara Bangla Sahib temple in Delhi. While making chapatis, she asked a lady beside her, “How many chapatis have you made?” The lady replied, “You don’t count them.”

Whoa!

As soon as you start thinking about what you’re doing, you focus on yourself and not others. When you are doing something for other people, you focus on them and do it because you care for them and there is always someone who will benefit from your work.

Can’t you think of a person who operates from this mindset?

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March 3, 2019

Maybe it is time…

To let go of that overwhelming sense to hide behind a mask
To be yourself no matter what
To be open to new possibilities and opportunities
To be vulnerable because you are hurting and need support
To be willing to be loved even though you want to pull away
To open your eyes and see your help right beside you
To appreciate the blessing of life and its million facets
To focus on others and let the service heal you
To proclaim that unspoken emotion which is tearing at your heart
To express the hurt waiting to burst out and to be faced so it will be conquered
To put your trust in those who can help you beyond your own power

It is time…

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March 2, 2019

Hi,

I’ve been in my head and took me awhile to get out again.

So much to talk about but not sure… how you would take it, but that is something I can’t control.

There are so many hurting folks out in the world. Many of them are right under your nose. My friend Mandy put out a blog today making a similar point. Lately, I have seen others post about the same thing. What is going on? I believe it is the longing and reaching out of people to find the connections which fills the soul.

People use money, sex, power, position, drugs, work, to try to fill the void. Some even call it a God-sized hole. One that can be filled only with a relationship with Him. As all of you know, I’m not perfect. Not even close and I struggle every day. Is it wrong? Is it something that everyone is going through? Of course, but we I like to hide that fact and put on a great face for all to see.

Maybe it is time…

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February 27, 2019

Ever been busy from sunup to sundown and beyond?

Let me tell you a secret…

I like down time. It lets me recharge and get ready for the next round of events. There are days, though where I keep going and stop only when I’m in bed.

There are other days when I can’t find something to do. The days go by so slow and I don’t have the energy to do nothing.

With that said, I’d rather be productive than busy and working on something than nothing at all.

How does that go… Idle hands are the devil’s workshop?

My hands are my workshop and I have plenty to do.

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February 26, 2019

On my bumpy flight back to NJ, I finished reading Boundaries.

I put the book down knowing 2 truths:

I am not one who stands up for myself and defends what I believe is respect for me.

I will defend any loved one’s right to fairness and justice.

These truths have caused me many heartaches and put me in situations that I have grown through and from. As I read the book, I recalled many times where I stood back and allowed myself to be used, manipulated, and walked all over. Of course, I could also recall those who did it to me.

However, I let them. I taught them how to treat me and then they applied the lesson. Since I have had the opportunity to move to a new place in life, I have learned how to stand on my own two feet, defend my boundaries, and how to speak my thoughts without the pain of the past and guilt of being “mean” for doing as I want.

I promise there will be more revelations from the book and I will be continuously learning and sharing those learnings.

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February 24, 2019

Just spent the weekend in Dallas with my mom and sister

Going home to an empty house but with a full heart.

I fully realize I am in a different place in my life, but it is not one I would want to change. You see, I love being with people and engaging in multiple ways. However, a time to refresh is always needed. Being by myself and reflecting has become a part of me. I need to make sense of where I am, was doing, and how the day went.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Dallas and learned so much about family as well as got a better idea of how I fit into the space I have been given.

I seriously thought about not going, but it was not about me. This was about my mom being able to see, touch, and talk to me. I’m learning there are times I have to make sacrifices not because I have too much or am selfish, but because someone else would be blessed by that sacrifice. Whether it is time, money, attention, emotional support, others need it from you because you are the trusted and secure realm.

My eyes are opening as well as my heart.

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February 23, 2019

Today was about family.

Not just a day of hanging and kind of talking.

Today was a day of connecting on a different level. Adult talk of hurt, struggles, why people have to be unkind, rude, real purpose in life, Who in charge of what is going on, why I’m really in my current space, how family dictates the background but not the foreground of my life.

I got to see my mom, sister, paternal aunt, and a paternal great uncle and aunt. We talked about so many things that I’m so energized to see I’m not alone in my walk.

We essentially talked about the things I’ve been writing here, however with a different viewpoint. Being a Turner does not bring a silver spoon to the mouth. We have family stories that are just as unbelievable as I’m sure are in your family past. I can’t do anything about those things except read them, understand what happened, and then do my best to not put myself or my family in those negative situations.

I leave knowing I really needed this time to concentrate on deepening my family relationships, knowing where I come from, and where I am going.

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February 22, 2019

Have you ever been in a place where you don’t want to be bothered and some one decides to talk to you? They tell you their current or past story and you just sit there and listen to most of it giving the appropriately timed nods, raised eyebrows, and verbal cues you are paying attention.

No?

Well, I have. More than I could possibly count. Why do I sit there and listen? Many times, it begins as something I don’t want to do, but by the time they are done, I have learned so much about them and made another happy.

My final thought… They need someone to listen to them. They have an experience they want to share and I happen to be the one who looks kind enough to unleash all the ideas, drama, thoughts about the other spaces in their life.

Think about it. Do you take the time to get out all the things that plague you? Do you have someone or someones who will take on your baggage. Not that you are asking them to help you with it, but to be a sounding board and mirror for your thoughts.

I do and there is a group whom I do release some of my quirks upon. I’ve been told, I am one who builds rapport with people. I develop relationships.

Stop and think about why people talk to you.

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February 21, 2019

I love my people.

I probably don’t say it enough. But I should say it more.

Do you have people that you talk to everyday?
People who will back you up in a moment’s notice?
People who do silly things just because?
People who are vulnerable when they need to be because you are a safe place?
People who share the deep hurt or simple joys of life?
People who trust you because they can?
People you bring close because they share the same stories, similar backgrounds, or endured the same hurt, pain, and still have a spirit of support because they know what the pain feels like?

If you don’t, you should take time and look up, find them, and make them your people.

 

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February 20, 2019

Being on the fence is difficult.
Making a choice is hard to do when I’m not in charge of myself.

However, that is a complete fallacy. I am in charge of myself. I choose to give that power away to other people, objects, and thoughts.

So the difficult part about sitting on a fence is the fact that I have to make a decision. The individual sides are not compatible with one another so a choice has to be made.

How long can I sit here?

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February 19, 2019

To continue…

I have to make a decision. I’m I going to go out on this limb and believe my friends are going to support me? Or am I going to play it safe and stick to what I know?

I’m guessing by now you are really wondering about me.
What is going on in his head?
Is he okay? Is he contemplating something that will hurt him and the relationships he has developed?
Possibly.

What is this book he is reading? How can I stop what is going on? Should I call him and offer my support?

These are the very things that society is based upon.
Vagueness.
Shallowness of mind, actions, and talk.
Fear of the unknown
Fear of being the you that is inside.
Always looking to keep the mask safe, repaired, and untarnished with what is happening on the inside.
Putting on a good face for the camera and eyes that are almost always looking.

I’m okay. Really, I am.

 

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February 18, 2019

Ever wondered what it would be like if you did something that most people wouldn’t believe the story if it was told about you? Yep.
Ever wondered if you could follow through on a thought or action and still be happy with being you? Yep.

Here’s the story…
I have this book. It is filled with ideas and strategies of how to accomplish those ideas. However there are terms I have to figure out. There are things I have to buy that are sold in certain stores. I have to make sure I have the right tools and the time to accomplish the task. I’m not sure I want to complete any of them because of what might happen after I’m done making a mess of my place and possibly my life.

Sound familiar?

Hold up… What do you think I’m talking about?

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February 17, 2019

My church does a Soup Kitchen every Sunday 12-2:30p Many people come through to get food, bread, and produce.

Being there and helping serve people has made a huge impact on me. There are so many hurting that it will take a huge cultural and societal change to address the foundational issues we are facing.

Also, I have found out that a kind word, smile, and positive interactions do go a long way. I’ve not been there since Thanksgiving as they fell on days I had other duties, was out of town to see my handsome boys, or home recovering from my surgery. So, walking in and hearing, “Rodney! We are glad you are back! How are you feeling? We’ve missed you!” was very good for my heart. That was from those who came in for the services. The director of the ministry told me thank you for being the one with a smile and supporting people as they come through. I told her, I do that because I know how it feels when looked down upon.

Everyone needs a cheerleader. If it happens to be a stranger, so be it.

I worked hard today. I made garlic bread in a kitchen with 8 ladies from across the West Indies and South America.
I served nearly 100 plates of food, bussed the tables when folks left, swept the floor, and put away the tables and chairs.
I laughed.
I cried from laughing.
I ate delicious food.
I learned that making Roti is complex.
I talked to people who really enjoyed what they do.
I even sweated in that HOT kitchen. (At one point, I had to go outside and cool off in the 33F sun.)
I came home with my belly filled and my heart happy.

Before I left, I told the ladies thank you for the wonderful time helping them and re-filling my bucket. It was hard work and I had to give time and effort, but it was worth every moment. If I don’t spend time with people to learn about them, I am wasting my time with them. Not going to do that any more.

The first Roti on the tawa

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February 16, 2019

I’m seeing the same concept mentioned over and over again.

In order to get along with my fellow human beings, I must connect, take time to get to know them, listen, or the very least, treat them with the respect I’d want from others.

Positive relationships are critical for friendships, classrooms, workplace environments, raising children, and marriages.

I guess I’ll have to elaborate in a future post.

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February 15, 2019

Take time to connect.

Today was a pretty straight forward day. Wake up, dress, eat, go to work, work, and come home.

When I got home, I heard Mandy say on Voxer she was driving home and was going to blast her music so she wouldn’t fall asleep. Great idea, I thought, but…

I called her.

Yes, the old-fashioned way people use to communicate before Social Media and new fangled voice systems.

I hadn’t really got to talk to her in a long while, so I called her and received a bucketful of joy. Only because we had the opportunity to pause and connect.

There are times when people need that connection. To have that extra word, real face time, and comfort knowing someone is willing to spend time on you.

I believe that is why I enjoy smaller crowds in the midst of large ones. If you ever have the opportunity to see pictures of my friends, notice the majority of the groups are less than 7. Why? I’m not sure but 4-5 fit well in a car or SUV so we can sing and laugh and talk.

I’m making a point to ensure those connections happen more.

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February 14, 2019

Maybe Haddaway had a point?

Do we really know what love is? Can we truly show it?
Why does love seem to have to include some type of pain?
What about the verse that mentions giving away love and the recipient doesn’t care?
Let’s not talk about why one would give complete decision making to someone else.

Am I reading too much into it? Probably not, but it is a catchy beat. And that is where I go off the rails. Looking at the outside and thinking about what could happen because of the seeable factors. That is the downfall of so many. It takes time and effort to build a proper relationship and one that is build on the things of the heart. Getting to the heart and understanding it is the best course no matter what the outside shows and the loins want.

I saw a picture of an older couple and the caption went something like this: “You can marry for beauty but it fades and then what do you have?”

On this day of “love” let’s keep in mind those who have shown it to us in their best way. A kind word, a daily smile, a thoughtful gift, a short conversation to see how we are doing are all good things to look for each day. Those are the beginnings of love. Let’s not keep it contained to one day a year.

 

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February 13, 2019

Today, I was given the opportunity to share a piece of my story with Rachel Pierson on her new podcast Learn for a Lifetime.

She asked 3 questions and I answered them. I had a wonderful time talking with her about many ideas and topics which stemmed from my answers.

The one thing that stood out when looking back, is her willingness to let me share. I’ve listened to so many podcasts and watched interviews where the host did most of the talking. Rachel didn’t do that. She asked open-ended questions and then let me talk. I love her style and I know her podcast will take off because of her coaching expertise and gentleness.

Thank you Rachel.

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February 12, 2019

Short one today.

5 years ago, yesterday, my marriage was legally ended. Years of memories and material items were now dealt with as a business.

There were many things which preceded the divorce. Distrust, resentment, selfishness were a few. I wanted better for us. I wanted to make sure all was well and cared for. However, that was not enough to keep it together. Events occured that made both of us realize that apart was better for the boys than together.

Thus began the rest of my life. It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been the most exciting nor the most boring. I’ve made mistakes in other relationships, but I know that I am growing up to be a responsible person.

Finally, lessons I’ve learned are coming to mind and I can apply them to the situations I’m in. I’m not perfect by any means, yet I’m better than what I was.

It is not a train at the end.

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February 11, 2019

Joy is what I’m looking for. Not fake, but genuine.

Unspeakable emotion which grips me so no words can escape.

Streaming as much love as possible.

Tasks untold that benefit the unknowing.

BE myself, because anyone else is taken.

Exhilarating feeling of joy and peace.

Cacophony – doubts and confidence fighting for supremacy

And – the conjunction that binds more together

Unforgettable – triggered by other similar experiences

Special – kept close to the heart

Events – not only instant happiness but also forever memories

 

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February 10, 2019

I have two things I want to say about today:

1. I am not alone in my quest for communication and logical effectiveness at any volunteer level. I attended a leadership conference today and heard so many stories about admin who don’t listen, teams who didn’t work with one another because they didn’t know how to nor, in some cases, wanted to.  This really breaks my heart in that we are supposed to be living and giving a message of hope and transformation. Yet, we deny that power in our lives. Thankfully, there were stories of success when the team saw the effect of proper communication.
2. I am getting old. My body is not working like it use to. And I’m seeing that I must eat differently. I must be intentional about moving and exercising to stay flexible and healthy. And I must listen to my body and take care so I can rest when I need it and go forward when I can. High blood pressure is no fun when it isn’t under control. (Yes, I am taking my medicine daily.)

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