Another installment from Boundaries…
What kind of friend am I?
To be clear, I’m talking about friendships outside of marriage, romantic relationships, work, or ministry. There is no other reason for us to be together than simply enjoying the company of one another.
Uh, I’m not sure. I’ve had many friendships because of school, work, or some other type of function that we were both involved in.
Seriously, I’m thinking of each person I talk to and seeing how we are connected by some function whether it be a job, interest, or…
That’s what I’m missing! I want to be around them because of an attachment or common interest that binds us together.
Let me break it down. Those I see everyday at work are functional in that we do the same type of work. We will eventually find something that we have in common and will develop a friendship beyond work topics. That is the same with church folks. Once a week for four hours is not enough time to know someone.
To truly establish a friendship, there must be a reason to stay together, talk, laugh, play games, and enjoy each other’s company. Hmm. Maybe that’s why I have developed some strong bounds with friends who live out of state. I get to spent just enough time to say hello and glean tidbits of things that are not social media relevant. However, there are some who I talk to every day, or nearly every day. Miles, time, and funds separate us. We say, “if only we lived closer..” I wonder what would happen to the magic of friendship? Would it deepen or cheapen because of proximity? “Oh, you are close enough that I can see you later.”
I’m not sure how others feel, but I know that my life would be more exciting if I could live closer to them. With that said, when I left AZ I didn’t realize the friends I had. I didn’t see the attachments I had made. I was so caught up in myself, I didn’t take the time, nor spent the energy to be a better friend.
I’m sorry!
I will do my best to not make that mistake with others.
So boundaries with friends… I have them, but they are not tested by proximity, but by distance. Some have melted away completely, others are smoldering, while still others are burning warm enough to let me know I’m not alone and I have friendships for good.
Sources:
Boundaries pp 181-198
3 Kinds of Friends You meet in Life
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