July 2, 2019

Finally…

The month of June flew by.
I knew it was going to be a busy month about the middle of May.
Funeral for my maternal Grandpa in Wichita. I saw many family members I hadn't seen in at least 15 years over those 2 days
The next week found me on a beautiful beach in South Jersey. The waves and people had me in a state of peace and calm. A large storm passed through and it was wonderful to sit and hear the rain and wind.
The day, I made an 8-day trip to Arizona to see my boys whom I hadn't seen in 5 months. More about that later.
On the heels of that trip, I went to ISTE (International Society of Technology in Education) conference in Philadelphia. I was there for 4 glorious days.
Then I had my mom and sister come for a visit because my sister's work brought her to NYC. They were with me for 4 days.
Now I'm home and falling back in to familiar routines. Ones I don't like. How can this be? I haven't had so much love from so many people and places fill my heart. And yet, it's as though those days hadn't happened.
I'm going to say it...
I'm LONELY.
In this sense of the word: Solitary, unaccompanied, lone.
So, what now?
I'm no longer going to embrace the sad part of the word. I'm going to begin looking at the connections I have made over my life. I have people across the world who are willing to talk me. I have no need to wallow in self pity because I'm in a new place. The time is now and it begins with me.

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#my53s

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