First reflections-2026

2026 has been interesting so far. Parade with friends, home with family, and asporting event with friends and family. 

When looking back over 2025 and all the twists and turns it brought, I've determined to view life and conduct myself in a way like I haven't before.
Intentional focus on my health, sanity, and environment.
This change has opened my eyes to what I haven't had in a long while.

Peace with myself.

In my personal reflections, I've realized that I have desired female confirmations, affirmation, and companionship. Why? That's what has been guiding me all my life. Present and active Mom, loving sister, and absent positive consistent male influences. 

Now what?
I'm surrounding myself with males who are present, positive, and consistent.

What has this done for me?
Anxiety is down, confidence is up
Focus is tighter on the things I need to do daily, weekly
I'm more present for my boys and their needs
Outlook on the future me is a bit clearer

Feeling good, so let's go!

The Old Me, Kind Of

Where am I?
Sitting in a quiet house alone. Yes, just me.

So much has happened this year and not what I wanted nor thought would happen.
Upside down and inside out, my world was turned.

What now?
Move forward and use what I know now.

Focus on AI and how it can help me be a better me at work and personally.
Provide my boys a father who is present and safe no matter where they are.
Be the person I know I can be
Do the things I have my eyes set on.

I will be okay.
Promise.

BTW, I'm building what I need to get better and do better.

Thanks for riding with me.

2024 into 2025

 As we are gathered around the warmth of the season, we find ourselves reflecting on the incredible year we’ve had. This year has been particularly special for us, as we celebrated our marriage! It was a beautiful day filled with love, laughter and joy.

In addition to our wedding, Maegan and I had the pleasure of visiting some wonderful places and creating cherished memories together. From cozy weekends away to exploring new cities, each trip brought us closer and filled our hearts with joy. We can’t wait to share stories and more photos with you all!

As we look forward to the new year, we are excited about the adventures which await us. We hope to continue building our life together, filled with love, and laughter. 

We wish you all a holiday season filled with warmth, joy, the company of loved ones, and the ability to recognize the countless blessings which will come to you.

Silence

This world is full of so many things.
Noisy
Moving
Gleaming
Sparkling
Fresh
Exciting

As a person, it is not bad to be caught up in it and enjoy it.
As a Christian, my primary thought should be, Is this going to bring me closer to Him or to the World? If it will strengthen my relationship with God, then it will be very good for me. If not, then I have an important decision to make.
Indulge or Reject
If I focus on Him and His plan for me then I will not have the time nor desire to enjoy things outside of Him. Also, I will be able to hear His Spirit moving on me to do those things which honor and glory to Him. I must allow Him to lead.

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Constant Dependance

Friday night and Saturday afternoon I was studying Matthew 14:22:33; Mark 6:45-52; John 6:14-21.

I would tell you the story but I suggest you read it for yourself.

Short summary:
Jesus feed over 5000 people, who then wanted to crown Him king. He dismissed all of them and went to pray on a mountain. His disciples were overtaken by a storm while they were crossing the lake. He goes down to save them. Peter walks on water for a bit. Jesus saves him and gets in the boat.

No spoilers were given, but this is my golden nugget.

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May 4th

So all day it has been…

May the 4th be with you.  (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:May_the_4th_be_with_you_(Star_Wars_Day).svg)

For the uninitiated, it is a silly take using the date, May 4, on a famous saying by the Jedi Order of Star Wars, May the Force Be with You.

As I was washing my hands today, I realized a strange fact…

I love language, the sound of languages, and how people in different parts of the world speak. Even a bit deeper, I like the study of the placement of the tongue when speaking.

My point?

“May the 4th be with you” is a lisp (a speech defect where the “s” sound is pronounced as “th” in thick or  the “z” is pronounced as the “th” in this.)

“May the forth be with you”
“May the force be with you”

So, I’m sticking to the original sound.

(Yes, I went there)

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May 3rd

Entitlement:
the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
the fact of having a right to something.

Power:
legal or official authority, capacity, or right.
ability to act or produce an effect.
possession of control, authority, or influence over others.

Tolerance:
the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

How do these nouns relate to what going on in our world right now?
There are people protesting for the government to open businesses of convenience and luxury. Displaying their guns, signs, and utter disrespect for people who disagree with them and some who represent the medical occupations who work with those affected.

Where does this come from?
Selfishness, even though that is the same sentiment which is tossed back at the other side.
Greed to keep open the businesses that are making money, but may have not planned for an extended closure or the simple fact they want to keep making money to maintain status quo.

What am I getting at?
These values are based in human nature and we have to fight against the ones which only destroy others and ultimately our own self. We must grow the ones which give love, peace, and grace to all including our own self.

 

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May 2

It seems as though the weekend has been a better time to take walks. The weather was perfect and the sun was out.
So, of course I go out and enjoy it after the week of cold rain.

Did you know that NJ was hilly? I have climbed many a hill around my place. My legs know.

Back to my points.
As I’m puffing and dragging myself a hill, I realized another feeling was present but not fully blown.  It was in the pit of my stomach and in my chest. It was much more noticeable when I walked by people.
What was the feeling?
Fear?
Foreboding?
Anxiety?
Uneasiness?

Is there reasons for such unnerving emotions?
Yes, but they are out of my control.

So, what do I do?
1st accept them.
2nd Keep moving forward with what I need to do.
3rd Figure out what I can control and control them.

Simplistic? Yes.
But what else do I have to hold on to?

My faith.

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May Day 2020

So much has happened since the last time I was here.

Quick summary:
Still healthy
Still in NJ
Still working
The world is embraced by a pandemic and people are told to Shelter In Place.

If you had told me 2 years ago this would happen, I don’t think I would have believed you.
If you had told me people would be losing their collective minds, I would have asked what movie are you watching? Contagion, Deep Impact, or another apocalyptic movie?
BTW, those are really popular on streaming services since this has begun.

I believe people are searching for what to do, what to think, what or how to feel.
There are scientists, doctors, pastors, politicians, or individuals of the general who are all claiming to have the “TRUTH”.

I can say with certainty, all have an agenda and no one else knows the whole stories of each person.

What do I offer? Why write this? I’m processing what this is leading to and trying to gather as much information to make the best decisions possible.
What else can I do?

Listen and pray

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#OneWord 2020

I’ve been doing this for a few years, but this year is different.

I thought about many words but none of them seemed worthy until …

I was talking to a really good friend, Keith in AZ and we were catching up on life and reminiscing on what was as colleagues. He mentioned how it was important to him to be free of any guilt and negative emotions. Those who have/had issues with him over the past year he wanted to talk to and reconcile with them.

That set me off thinking and boom!

CLEAR

My #oneword for 2020.

Why “CLEAR”?

It is something I need to be and do more often.
Why should I when I have been hurt by the very things I hold dear dand share with the wrong people or through my Adverse Childhood Experiences?

Yet, I make the decisions where my life goes and how I react to it.
Clear expectations
Clear emotions
Clear values
Clear words
Clear communiques
Clear relationships
Clear progress forward

After taking the time to “BE“, I realized there are so many items in my life that need to be obvious others. Not that I have to give reasons for everything I do or say (That is a HUGE statement from me), but that there should be some logical assumptions one could make if they really care but don’t ask me.

I have a new relationship and it is blowing my mind. Being clear with her has opened my eyes to all the times, I wasn’t nor did I actually want to because of past trauma and emotional hurt. However that is never an excuse for moving forward while looking back.

With that said, I am going to continue to “BE” myself and learning more about what I can do to build better relationships through CLEAR actions.

A bit opaque?
Yep, because I have 363 days to clean the windows through which I see the world.

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Episode 11-Relationships

Of all possessions a friend is the most precious - Herodotus

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Episode 10-Fatherhood

Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys - Unknown

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Episode 9-Time

One Father is more than one hundred schoolmaster - George Herbert

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Episode 8-Struggle

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.
Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground.
They want rain without thunder and lightning.
They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.
This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one;
or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle.”
—Frederick Douglass

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Episode 7-Company

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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Episode 6-#TwitterPoem

I check the tweets from my peeps

From the time I wake to the time I sleep.

I can't wait til I see all the wonderful links

Even though I have to say some do stink.

Not because they are bad or substandard

But because I want to Re-Tweet the Gold standard.

I look, peruse, and amuse at all the good and bad news

I love to find people who share my own personal views.

I follow some of them like a little lamb

But others I mark as awful spam.

But "Why?" you ask, "do I do all this time consuming work

If it were me I were go absolutely berserk!"

I do it because I love technology

And the ways it makes life easier

By the way this is not an apology

Nor trying to make this more cheesier.

The tools I glean from my PLN teams

Are ones I can use outside of my dreams.

To make others come true

I must brew, chew, stew, and construe

Before I make a final debut.

Not of what I can do or what I've gone through

But of what I can give to all those who need.

This is what I want to really imbue,

Positive power, a loud voice, and a strong will to succeed.

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Episode 5-Collaboration

Some experiences of collaborating with eductors around the world. Classroom Global Collaboration - https://youtu.be/sCycaQUSvxA https://ift.tt/2p6eiWz

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Episode 4-Twitter

Why I joined, what I get from it, how to find me.

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Episode 3-Revelations

Reflections on me, people, and jobs.

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Episode-2-Move

TechyTurner - Still Here
Episode 2 - Move
Highlights of my journey since 2013. New jobs, new people, new location.